the honeymoon is over..

I am your typical type A, get it done, no procrastination type of girl. I knew this could take a few months. The standard guidelines from the OBGYN head honchos are: under 30 yrs old, it should take about 9 months to conceive. If you are over 30 it may take 12 months.

Okay, let’s do the math here. I had turned 28 just after our wedding. I fall into the “should take 9 months” to conceive category. I knew after 6 months of using my fertility tracker and seeing negative test after negative test, that something was not right. I wasn’t sure if it was me, or him, but I knew I had to figure it out. I remember thinking back to when I was as young as 13, sitting in the nurse’s office in fetal position from the pain of my period waiting for my Mom to pick me up and bring me home. I worried that this was a sign of something larger.

I decided to make an appointment with my OBGYN in January 2015. Luckily she didn’t give me any issues and decided to have me get blood work done right away. Many times you will hear that a woman asks her OB what is going on and they are dismissive and say, “oh you are young, relax! It will happen.” I was healthy, a perfect BMI, outstanding blood pressure and normal blood work.

People are clueless. I was clueless. We assume if you are in your 20s or early 30s, you have time! What people don’t get is if you have infertility issues at a young age, chances are you always did. It has nothing to do with how you look, how much money you make, your education level, if you do yoga, take your vitamins and eat your omega fatty acids. Infertility is an equal opportunity affliction. One thing I have learned is, there is NOTHING you can do can change the fact that you have infertility. Does it help to be healthy, both mentally and physically? Sure. But I repeat, it is not your fault. It is not your fault.

My OB did mention testing my AMH (anti mullerian hormone) and FSH ( follicle stimulating hormone). These tests would be an indicator of what was going on inside. After my results came back, she called and said everything looks okay. My AMH seemed a bit low for my age, but nothing alarming to her. I will preface this by saying she is your run of the mill OB PA. What I mean is, she is not someone who specializes in Reproductive Endocrinology. She suggested my husband get checked out also, to rule out male factor infertility.  After his results came back, she called and said his numbers looked a bit low. Not terrible, but worth checking out. Phew I thought…better him that me, right? Men make new little guys daily. Woman are born with all the eggs they will ever have. I started thinking, well Jesus, maybe we shouldn’t have waited so many years before getting engaged! I digress…

One last thing my OB wanted to do before sending me to the Fertility Clinic was to do an internal ultrasound. The ultrasound and the blood tests would paint a true picture. Once she saw my ultrasound, she decided she would turn my care over to a Reproductive Endocrinologist who specializes in infertility. I sat there and couldn’t believe the words she was saying. I was glad we were going to get to the bottom of it, but was so fearful of what was to come. She wished me well, told me not to worry, and even said “I’m sure you will be back in here with good news in no time.”


Author: JPK

29 MWF in search of motherhood.

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