6 weeks 5 days. 

(The baby is the size of a sweet pea)

I always joked with my doctors that I couldn’t wait to be sick and fat, because that would mean I would be pregnant. Once week 5 arrived, I felt like I had been hit by a truck, hence why I’m just writing my blog entries now. I don’t even know how I have the strength to get up every morning. I feel like I’m walking through jello. Every second of the day I feel like I’m going to vomit. It turned out to be a blessing that I have  my own office because I am super sensitive, more than ever, to noises and smells! Also if I need to put my head on my desk for a minute, I can. 

So far I have lost about 5 lbs, which I know can be normal in the beginning. I have tried everything to make the nausea go away. The only thing that helps a little is the combination of Unisom, which is a sleep aid and antihistamine, mixed with vitamin B6. Thank God for my friend K, mom of twins, who told me about it. For whatever reason this combination helps take the edge off. It is also safe and approved by the doctor. This combination allows me to sleep at night and make it to work every morning. 

I’ve been sleeping about 12 hours a night and I wake up feeling like I’ve never slept. It almost feels like being hungover 24/7 or having mono. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for this, but it’s really tough. We got back from a weekend in Massachusetts over 2 weeks ago and this past Sunday I unpacked finally. I attempted to unpack 4 times and every time I went to even go pick up a shirt to put in the hamper, I decided to lay down instead. If you know me, you know that’s not me!

Out of nowhere August 4th I was at work and I started having trouble breathing. I decided to go to the walk in clinic after my inhaler wasn’t helping. After they saw my resting heart rate was 125, they decided that it was best I go to the emergency room. Long story short, they took blood and did an EKG, and they ruled out any blood clots. Apparently all the drugs I’m on can cause a blood clot, and also high levels of hormones can cause you to feel dizzy and like you can’t breathe. The one good thing that came out of the 5 hr trip was, the hospital took another hCG test. My clinic only takes 3 rounds. The first one was 472, the second one was 1084 and the third one was 7822. Clearly still pregnant! But after that last one, 7822, I would have to wait 2 weeks until my first ultrasound. The hospital called me with my HCG result and said it was 51,636. Super super high. They like to see the number double in the first 3 weeks and my numbers have clearly more than doubled. My estrogen and progesterone are also through the roof, so my nurse cut back my dosage. I’m hoping this will make me feel better.

 My first ultrasound is coming up later in the week. This is what will confirm if we’re having a singleton or multiples. We will also get to see the little flutter of the heartbeat. Once that happens then I will finally let myself accept that yes, I am pregnant. Although I do feel very pregnant, with all the sickness I’ve been trying to not let myself get hundred percent excited.

Once I get home from work, I lay down on the couch and I don’t move until I have to get up for my shot around 7:30. After my shot I go right to bed. Some nights, I don’t even have energy to watch TV or eat. Yes, eating and drinking have been hard. My nurse said just eat anything I can whether it’s healthy or not. I just need calories. It’s so hard because I start craving something, and then if I go get it, the second I see it I want to throw up. Both my mom and mother-in-law have been great with bringing food over to the house for us. I dont have an real cravings, just mostly food aversions. The only things I can manage to stomach are salty  foods like crackers or chips.  Anything bland is usually  safe. I pray that this sickness goes away by the second trimester.

My big 30th birthday is coming up this weekend. My sister and two friends are bringing to the Bikshires for a night away. I hope that I feel well enough to partake in activities. I’ve always wanted to go there! 

I am feeling exiting and nervous for our first ultrasound. Just hoping everything is ok and can’t wait to see how many are in there! Lets see if all these crazy high beta numbers actually mean something. From here on out, I  will continue to go in for weekly for blood work to make sure my meds are at the right dose. At this point I have about 5.5 more weeks of shots, and then I will just continue a prenatal vitamin like other normal pregos.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel! 

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Author: JPK

29 MWF in search of motherhood.