“four pregnant ladies walk into the bathroom..”

I get it. We are in our late 20’s. Weddings and baby showers are inevitable. I felt that if I could just get pregnant fast, I could avoid all the awkward and rude questions. I kept telling myself that no one would ever have to know. At this point only my coworker and walking buddy, and two of my best friends and my sister knew what was going on. That’s it. We didn’t tell our parents, or our extended family. 99% of my friends did not know. One thing I have learned in all of this is you REALLY get to know who your true friends are. If I didn’t trust ya, I wasn’t tellin’ ya. It was also our fear that we had no idea how long this would take. I didn’t want to upset my family. We were still trying to get through this divorce. I also did not want to take people on this hellish roller coaster ride. And at the same time we thought we wouldn’t be on the ride for too long, so we would get pregnant and then maybe mention to some close family and friends about our short but tough journey. C felt really strongly about this. He didn’t want to tell people. As time passed I started to feel like I was lying to my Mom and Mother in Law. A part of me wanted the support but didn’t want the pity that naturally comes along with this sort of thing.

Back to the baby showers. Pregnant woman started following me. Really, they were everywhere. Every time I opened Facebook there was an announcement. Every time I walked into a store, Mrs. Preggers was standing in the isle next to me. I went through a period at work where 4 woman were simultaneously pregnant. I remember one day I walked into the bathroom and all FOUR of them were in there. AHHHH. I just smiled at them as they stood at the sink comparing bellies, I walked into the stall, sat down and wanted to cry. At my age, its unavoidable. The baby shower invitations are starting to flow now more than ever, both at work and in my personal life. I was able to skip two showers at work. I wanted to use the excuse “I have to shampoo my hair that day…”, but that doesn’t work so well during the work day. Luckily for me, my retrieval in March was the same day as one of the showers, so that was the perfect reason not to be there!

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Author: JPK

29 MWF in search of motherhood.

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